Women's Role in Marriage
There is much confusion and misinterpretation about what scripture actually says about the role women fulfill in a Godly marriage
Who doesn't love a guy talking about women's roles!? I took a while with this because I wanted to avoid taking scripture out of context (as is the point of this entire site) and provide you with a more in-depth explanation without going overboard and mansplaining (did I spell that right?).
Before we get into this one, it is important to know that the first role for wives, like husbands, refers to following Christ. Wives should learn everything they can from the Bible, spend time in prayer, and seek to live a sinless life.
The Supporter
When we read of wives submitting to husbands, scripture uses the word 'hypotasso' meaning 'to come up under'. 'To come up under' is different than the Greek word 'hypakouete' which means 'to obey' which was used to describe how children should submit to their parents. The significance of 'come up under' is that wives are not supposed to mindlessly obey husbands, but rather they were to support the husband's decisions for the household as the husband's right-hand leader.
If the husband was doing his role as a servant leader, all decisions would be from a Christ-like servant perspective. He would be honoring God first and his wife second. Therefore, honoring your husband's godly decisions would be to also honor God. This 'come up under' role would give the husband the opportunity to become the better servant leader that God wants him to be. As Jesus is the right hand of God, so are women the right hand of their husbands.
However, if the wife believes her husband's decision is not Christ-like, she has the full authority to over-rule his decision since she answers FIRST to God and then to her husband. The wife working as the right-hand of her husband will correct his faults to make him a better husband and a wiser leader so that he may serve God and the household better.
The Mentor
Wives are to train the younger women how to love their husbands and their own children. They should teach them how to be self-controlled, pure, kind, and trust in God. It is the role of the wives to teach their daughters how to be women. The success of this leadership role is through being an example as well as their teacher and confidant.
The wife would also inaugurate the Sabbath day (Saturdays) and leads a prayer - which allows her and her family to take a full 24 hours off of work from that point.
The Example & Witness
Women are described as beautiful and society has put pressure on women to focus more on external beauty rather than inward, but a godly wife is to focus on her inward beauty first. You should still like... shower... and there's nothing wrong with makeup and glitter (but please stop buying glitter that gets stuck to everything you touch - it's not against the Bible, it's just against my sanity). Your primary focus, when it comes to yourself, should be your character. Whether you are a quiet introvert or a bubbly extrovert, your inward beauty is more valuable to God, your husband, and children than your external beauty which can fade.
When you empower your household, mentor the children, and act as an extraordinary example of Christ, you are a walking witness. Your husband will grow deeper in love with you for your character and push themselves to serve you in more ways. Other men will see your relationship with your husband and want someone like you for a wife. Women will see your character and Christ-like character and want to be like you, confiding in you, and learning from you as their mentor. Your ministry is on a personal level and built on a network of supporting one another.
The Lover
If you read the 'husband role' article then you probably know where this is going. Yes, you too must never hold back from your husband. Never use sex as a special reward for special occasions, never withhold it as a punishment (if you are mad, that needs to be resolved first, and before you go to bed). The rule goes for both genders and for the same reasons. Using sex as a weapon and reward will always drive your partner away, create fights, cause tension, and ultimately lead to distrust and resentment. Now if you have a reason, you should voice it. Withholding for physical conditions are different. If you've got a case of the "Red Sea" or you are too sore from pelvic workouts/childbirth/etc, you can opt-out for a short while. The Bible also allows for couples to agree to withhold from each other for a short while as a form of 'fasting' so they can study scripture.
The Provider
Wives are also supposed to be providers. Many scriptures reference them as one who invests and increases wealth. Increasing the wealth of the home does not mean you must have a full-time job and be gone all day. Wives who stay at home had a vital role in reducing financial burden by having a large control over the finances. Wives of the Bible invested the household savings to increase wealth, they knew how to mend clothes so they wouldn't have to buy new ones, they were extremely crafty and able to turn old things into new things, they were inventors of home refurbishing, masters of budgeting, and Jill-of-all-trades which reduced the outflow of funds providing more financial security for the family.
What about Ungodly Husbands?
I believe that Peter said it best, so I'll just end it with his quote:
1 Peter 3:1-2 "...if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives."